I feel like a stupid girl.

Soooooo maybe I over reacted a little...
What I previously wrote was truly how I felt in the moment. I've gone through so much this entire year, its been such a roller coaster. I can't even believe the things I felt this year.
I tried to walk away. I tried and yet here I am back to square one.
Im just not ready to give up. No matter how much I tell myself, convince myself, push myself away, I know I don't want to.
After those three weeks of not talking to him... he told me that he understood that THIS time, he knew he was going to lose me.  He has told me that he'll do anything to get me back, that he knows that this is what he wants. It's exactly what I want to hear.. but its also what I've heard over a million times. Its always good for a few weeks and then everything turns to shit again. Im afraid that thats exactly what i've put myself through again this time around. The past two weeks we've spent a lot of time together and I am happy. He has asked me to be his girlfriend again, but I have not agreed. I know that Im happier when were together, but I am also fearful of what that label brings. The label makes it real.
I know that I shouldn't care what others think and if this is what I'm going to do, I shouldn't do it half ass. I'm just tired of being fooled, and I want to trust that it will turn out ok, but frankly I don't. Is it weird that I still want to be with him, despite all the pain and hurt he has caused me? I feel so dumb.