I don't even know how to blog about this, but I need to get it off my chest. I wanted to scream yesterday; I wanted to throw shit and brake stuff, but all I did was cry. Everytime I thought about it, I began to cry. It was a rough day for me. So my ex continues to tell me that nothing is going on between him and this girl. At first, I went along with his story. She posted a pic of her kissing him on the cheek. The body language didn't exactly say friendship, but I let it go for the most part. I've told him repetitively about the consequences and how people perceive photos like that. For gods sake, it was an issue and part of the reason we broke up in the first place! Now there are like 7 pics of them together in her instagram. My friends have seen the photos and have made judgements of their own. No one posts pics with a dude that many times, in this short of a period, unless its your boyfriend or someone you obviously really like. We're not together and its totally fine to date someone new, but don't tell me its nothing and that you want more than anything for us to be together. Asking for another chance, telling me that he'll do anything, that he'll change, is a bunch of bullshit. You would not believe how many times I've heard it! Im sick of all the lies! Frankly I don't believe its nothing. I don't trust his word and I'm not sure I ever will again. I feel disgusted because in my heart, I think he sees me as dumb. I think he thinks I'll always be there, that I'm too weak to leave and he can do whatever he wants. Maybe he's right? I've been fooled by him the entire time I've known him and I continually let him hurt me. What reason do I have to believe anything he tells me? He has completely shattered all the trust! WHY!!!! WHY do I do this to myself? I think its my love that gets me through it, but there isnt much of that left these days... It saddens me, to hear him tell me how his love for me is true love. How can true love be THIS?!