Angry as usual.

Im in an angry stage. One moment Im sad and thinking am I doing the right thing and the next Im all Fuck this. My head knows Im doing the right thing, but my heart is fucking weak. 

WTF is wrong with me? why do I want that guy. there is nothing good about him?! He hurts me, He doesn't care or love me, he doesn't spend time with me, he takes me for granted and doesn't treat me right. EVERYTHING is put before me. 
I need a distraction and I think I should just get one. If someone else is smitten over me, maybe i'll be able to see what I deserve.